You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
