Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
