so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
