dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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