Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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