In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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