This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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