we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize