I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Houston, we have a blender
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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