its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
