Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
