I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
