just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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