Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
