Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
