Porn is love you can see.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
