Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My cat gives me a boner
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
