I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
