Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Text me some of your sweat
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