Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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