to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize