Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
