Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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