There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
