mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
