apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
