Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
