Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
