toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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