Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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