you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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