You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
