For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
