i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
