her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
