shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
