he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found your dick twin last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
