addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
