Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize