No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
