dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Pooping to opera.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
