i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
