even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
do nipples grow back?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
