well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
