some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
