I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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