party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
