My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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