is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
