I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
