I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
