Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
