There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
