can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
