I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
