I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
