If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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