dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
