Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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