she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize