do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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