great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
