You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Cover your peen. We're going out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
