Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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